Diary of a MILF in Progress

Tagged

Well, I'm going to break one of the meme rules right from the outset, and admit that I'm not going to tag anybody.  I don't have many readers, and most of the people I would have normally tagged for a meme have already done this one, so I'll just leave it to you all to decide if you want to run with it.

But, without further ado, I begin.  Secret Leaves (I don't which of the paper ladies it was, since they both did their seven) tagged me to do the "seven random things about you" deal.  I like this meme better as "random facts" than I do when I've seen it as "seven strange things about you," since I don't like to categorize myself as "strange" (batshit crazy, perhaps, but not strange).

1. I eat Skittles in color order.  I always eat all the purple ones first, then the red, orange, yellow and green.
2. The use of the word "irregardless" sets my teeth on edge.  I used to work closely with a guy who used it fairly often, and it took every ounce of effort I could summon to refrain from screaming at him about the fact that it's not a real word.  The use of "literally" in place of "figuratively" used to cause as extreme of a reaction, but I seem to have become desensitized to it.
3. For a short girl (5' 3"), I have fairly large feet (size 8-8.5, depending on the shoe).
4. As far as I'm concerned, beef as an entree must be fully cooked (medium well), but beef on a sandwich should be rare.
5. I have a fear of falling.  Not a fear of heights, but a fear of falling.  I can stand on a 90th floor balcony without fear if the railing is safe and secure, but put me 4 feet off the ground on an unstead surface and I'm a basket case.
6. I drink my coffee black with no sweetener, unless I go full out for a foofy coffee drink with syrups and froth and toppings.  There's no middle ground.
7. Most people buy shoes based on their clothing, but my shoe collection is often the basis for my clothing choices.  I bought a blouse a few weeks ago based on the fact that it was the perfect color to match a pair of spectator pumps I bought online a few years ago.

That's it.  Seven things you might not have know, and probably didn't care to know anyway.  Happy Friday, y'all.  Oh, and if you haven't checked out Sarcastic Mom's rack, do it now!!

No Mo' NaBloPoMo

As you can see by the week-long silence, I tanked on NaBloPoMo.  I barely logged on to my computer at all for the entire Thanksgiving weekend except to check email a couple times and post my Sports Night link, and now am barely coherant enough to apologize for my lack of posts.  When the smoke clears from my meeting preparations, home improvement projects, stress about the impending holiday season, fighting a sore throat and congestion, feelings of uselessness as a parent and general malaise, I will fill you in. 

Until I let you know what's going on, check out Sarcastic Mom's rack.  You can win a shirt.  Or I could.

Thespis. It's his special day

Just one more example of my horrible childhood

The early seasons of the perennial favorite Sesame Street are now available on DVD.  But, despite the fact that most of my generation was devoted to the show during our formative years, it's not suitable for preschoolers.

You know what?  I'm such an awful mother that I might actually let my children watch the episodes with me.  Go ahead, call Child Protective Services on me.  I dare ya.

Sunday funnies

I don't get the paper anymore, since most of the time The Husband and I would leave most of it unread, and would catch up on the news online during our lunch hour.  Even the weekend paper would get tossed aside, since breakfast with 3 kids under the age of ten is not always conducive to leisurly reading.  I do miss the comics sometimes, though.  Oh, I can still see most of them online, but the ones that amused me the most were the soap opera ones.  Ah, good times...

Par-tay with Dana

Woo hoo- silent auction, cranberry infused Russian vodka, and guess who was the winning bidder?!  Cosmopolitans, anyone?

Because I don't have nearly enough internet time wasters...

I joined Foamee.  I am a big dork.

Idea stolen from Hotfessional

I'm a bit writer's block-y at the moment, and am feeling lazy so I...

1. Went to Random.org.
2. Got a random number between 1 and 50.
3. Went to my list of 50 Things.
4. Found the one that matched her random number (25).
5. Wrote a post to elaborate on the 25th thing I'd listed:

"I cry a lot, too."

Wow.  not very exciting.  But, yeah, I do.  Always have.  When I was a kid, I was very sensitive.  Which made me cry easily.  So I got teased for being a crier.  Which got me upset, because I'm so sensitive.  You get the gist.

I cry at weddings, and usually at funerals.  The notable exception was my grandfather's funeral, when I worked really hard to hold it together and instead ended up laughing inappropriately with my sister about the Communion wafer that was plastered to the roof of my mouth.  Or I get reminded of people and get set off again, like the first Christmas after my aunt died, when I got the order form from Harry and David, allowing me to do the same gift baskets for the holiday that I'd done the year before, and I had to call customer service to remove her from my address book.

I cry when I'm angry, too, sometimes or when I get frustrated.  Years of practice have taught me how to swallow back the tears until I can lock myself in an empty office or a bathroom stall.  (Hint: drinking water causes your throat to open up, which prevents you from crying.  Always keep a water bottle handy.)  I sometimes wish I could be like Holly Hunter's character in Broadcast News, and just set aside a time to bawl my eyes out and have that be it for the day.  That's not so much happening, though.

The holidays are tough.  In addition to the expected teary eyes when Clarence gets his wings, or when Linus tells us the true meaning of Christmas, I have that damned commercial where the guy comes back from college and surprises his parents and they come down the stairs because they smell the coffee, and...can somebody hand me a tissue, please?

This does not bode well for the remainder of the day

The Husband and I both wanted to get out of the house as early as possible today, since the fog was destined to muck up traffic.

Our elderly, semi-incontinent dog put the kibosh on that.  Nothing starts a day off better than having to clean dog piss off the kitchen floor and hallway rug.

This is an accurate representation of my workday